"I know, but I feel..."
What I hear most often from clients is this statement… “I know, but I feel…”. Ah yes. I know this experience all too well. The experience of knowing something, and feeling completely different.
For example, breaking up with that boyfriend who was all too awful for you, did not treat you well, and toward the end there were more negative experiences than positive. He was not in a place to give you what you want or need, and you KNOW this. But you feel something beyond sadness. You feel pulled to go back. Ugh, but you KNOW he isn’t good for you and you feel terrible with him anymore!
You know that test you took, in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t matter. However, when it comes back with a 68% you want to vomit. You studied so hard. You did your best. You KNOW this, and you feel like it is the end of the world. Your stomach is upside down.
You know that guy cutting you off in traffic is meaningless and has nothing to do with you, and you feel like pulling him over and taking a crossbow to his face. Oh the rage.
That girl never texted you back. You KNOW it isn’t going to be a match since she isn’t showing interest, but the panic that ensues is a subtle gremlin in the pit of your bowels.
That disconnect between the knowing mind and feeling body is sometimes profound, confusing, and frustrating. People shame themselves for it. “I shouldn’t feel this way.” Well, in the greater scheme, perhaps it would be more pleasant to feel differently, but the fact is in that moment, you feel how you feel, and it is valid.
What I strive to do with clients is connect the feeling to the knowing… to heal whatever is leading to the unpleasant emotion.
Emotions are innocent, even the unpleasant ones. I cannot emphasize this enough. Emotions are our compass and messengers. They are attempting to tell you something and show you something important.
I invite people (that includes you) to be the curious observer of them, instead of judging them, shaming yourself, or “shoulding” yourself for having them in the first place.
Whenever there is a disconnect between the knowing and feeling, it requires you to figure out why. In sessions with me, we do this through therapeutic connecting and theta healing. In my experience as a healer in both the conventional medical world and holistic medical world, this has been the quickest, most effective and efficient way I have ever experienced, and therefore that is why I offer what I do to my clients to sift through the great abyss. It involves going into the subconscious mind through a meditative state, testing beliefs as true or not with muscle testing, and using energy to change the beliefs instantly. Sounds different (and it is), however as a receiver of the healing myself, and now having had treated many clients, read the testimonials and see for yourself! If you’re open to try, it works.
Going up to the first example of breaking up, these feelings often involve deeper matters like being afraid of being on your own, depending on him/her for something that you may or may not realize you depend on them for. So instead of trying to talk “sense” into you (because you already have that), we would get to the root of WHY you are being pulled back into an unhealthy relationship so that pull isn’t there.
In the second example, this usually has to do with subconscious (or conscious, but usually subconscious) beliefs of not being enough, being worthless unless you perform well. Other drivers typically include fear of failure, and secondary gain such as, “I need to perform well in order to get love and attention.” There is A LOT of secondary gain about performing well in our culture. Our culture transmits this into family culture. These are toxic programs of beliefs. If boys perform well in providing, making money, holding back emotions, and getting them ladies, you get “validation” in that way. Many men hate it, but they do it because subconsciously they think that’s what they have to do. And then the women are trying to look a certain way and being beautiful and “have it all together” because that’s the message they get in order to “matter” and get love and attention. And then when people do it, they wonder why they feel miserable underneath it all.
The last example with the road rage usually has themes of (and definitely not limited to) fear of being out of control, internalization and things having to be “all about you” when they have nothing to do with you so it is trigger central, built up resentments or hatred, feeling insignificant or not mattering and then bitterness behind that. Those are simply some examples.
And lastly, not hearing back from people many times has to do with fear of rejection and abandonment, not feeling like you’re enough. When these are healed, you could not give a f*** or not whether or not a new date texts you. If they truly like you, they will and yay! If they don’t, oh well, you guys aren’t a match and you feel good knowing you will find someone someday who will.
People are many times shocked at what subconsciously or spiritually is driving their emotional state and behaviors. Luckily with energy healing modalities like theta healing (or whatever healing modality has served you well!), one can heal and get past these dichotomies that are often frustrating and stressful.
If you find yourself in a place where you would like to heal this, contact me. You deserve to live your best life.